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Friday, February 25, 2011, 5:55 AM
瓶颈
我真的疯了,我打算放弃不要再读书, 然而我就只可以读书。 第一次,家有事,我拼了读书。 第二次,form 3的时候,很多事情。 第三次,form 5 做团长,读书压力。 第四次,毕业后,爸爸逼我一定要读书。 第五次,现在。 我当初有两个选择, 第一读Early Childhood Education. 第二读IT. 上帝给我的决心是IT.也许读Early Childhood Education会 简单很多。 对,很多东西我都觉得真的是上帝安排好好了的, 我的Roomate,两次都给我好人。 我在学校遇到的人,朋友,让我接触到KL的生活。 我在教会,学到很多很多东西。从新建立我的信心。 现在,我真的不知道IT是不是我要读的东西。 我觉得我很对不起很多人,尤其是我的家人。 我好恨我自己...... 上帝给我的决心为什么今天就消失了。 我很讨厌我自己做么可以这么混帐! 我做么这么不争气! 但是话说回来,我一定要做一个决定。 上帝肯定是站在我这边,我就是要做一个决定。 可是你知道吗上帝?我也想听你说说看我应该怎样做? 怎样你才喜悦?我不想丢你名字。 我不想。我其实早就想投身于你上帝, 只要你应允我。我真的想。 Tuesday, February 22, 2011, 6:53 AM
What should I do ? @.@
to errrr....do something. Anyway because of this 2 months old cough, my gosh, I've been living in calamity. Yes, blame the cough ! Sing also cannot sing ! AURGAUGRH~ So, to admit it, yes Im lazy. A real deal. Oh, I cannot focus. I couldn't bring myself to do anything. It's hard to uphold everything called by love. But, I have to learn how, because eventually I will meet even greater strike in the near future. I am now officially blinded by love. To God that is =D. Friday, February 18, 2011, 3:44 AM
醒来了可是还是瞎?
我就有自觉了。我就都一直记得了。 我的确有冲动过,一时放任自己去爱, 可是那时放任地爱,可以叫爱吗? 所以我改过。 我是真的瞎了,然后醒来,才来爱。 没有任何的Intention,我说,我来。 要做好人,我就知道,人家会不爽。 要做好人,就得放下自己,不然怎样给到别人东西? 做好人,他们一定不知道的,是一定。 我说过,我为你好,我肯定不能说, 不然,你根本不会顺其自然。 我的确很想解释,我不想你乱乱想。 我真的真的很想知道,到底发生了什么事。 我出卖你?哪里有可能? 为了你,我放了那么多话,我根本就是偏心, 我根本都就是把所有希望都放在你身上。 我知道,有背面的东西也许我不知道, 可是我真的不是笨的,所有可能性的东西, 我都想到,我都准备好了,不然我怎么会说, 尽管你怎样伤害我,我都无所谓。 尽管以后再难,再辛苦,我都会要解释。 你这样下去,肯定不会好到哪里去, 做一次你恨死我的事,好过你继续难受下去, 我什么资格?我没有,恨我啦。 我走开?我做了我自然就走。 , 2:56 AM
Best
The path I've chosen since then was not for myself. All those year of trying never stop, I played, I regret, I even cried. I am proud that I chose to never give up. It's really time to start thinking what am I going to do after I finish my studies, am not going to trap in a office! At least i want to try music for once. Im not really talented in a way. But another way Im just different. Maybe there are many out there who really deserves music. But then I made an important covenant to God. Monday, February 14, 2011, 7:49 AM
Types
I sang too much. Because that day when I try to sing, the cough got worse. This is really weird. Types, yea. I am that types of person that can get closer to certain people. Intimacy, clingy. Not of that kind, universal, i tried, it doesnt goes well with my heart. I stare at the computer for an hour, couldnt write anything at all. Omogosh, is this what they call brain freeze? Im too dependent i think. I got a all loving mom and dad, two good sister that now really loves me, a brother though violent but still care for me. And a God that never gave up on me being wretched. and lots of good friends. Im trying to be better. I will try to write more and more songs for You. At the same time, explore more into words not music oriented songs. Need to enhance both my singing and playing. Next : Best Sunday, February 13, 2011, 7:33 AM
Inspire.Redeem.Change
Woah, and both of it can really sing. And it all came from the moment of when people try to inspire me. Different people, different song. I never thought I can write english song this way. On the other hand, I am a jerk for dragging the assignment until today. Hope that cute guy can forgive me. Anyway, just realize that my so call "social skill" is outdated. Meh, I don't believe in social skill, as long as my heart stays true. Theres no reason in talking with mind leading the words. However, there is a need to change. To become better in bringing out my heart. To be honest and does not boost. To be sincere and does not ignore. To be a believer and a lover. To be an unsound vessel with deeper capacity. I pretty much did the last one. Deeper capacity means more patience and more people to understand. That's it. Oh yea, been waiting to write something about Types. Next post ~ Saturday, February 12, 2011, 5:02 AM
The Assign 闷 !
Im having real time headache over this URGH!!! I dont even know what's the purpose of it but still has to @(*^#%*^!%@(#*@^(!@^%#(!@*#^(. So many things running around my head, I couldn't calm down. I dont believe in pressure, lol. This is just, well... overwhelming or overflow of thoughts. Sigh, I can't focus anymore on my studies. I rather write songs ( what I like to do ) IT is just too much for me. Gosh. Should've said that Im purposeless in IT, Sigh, and who forced me to !? URGHHGHGHGH!!!!! Nevbermind, I can take it. I was since then unclean, I was meant to be this way. Ahoy ! Tuesday, February 8, 2011, 2:42 AM
My Testimony
Why do I even need one? LOL. That was about 7 years ago I think. Now, I still find no reason to believe in Him. I don't even need a reason to believe in Him anymore. This, I call love. Look it at another way. We can live our life without a God anyway. We dont need Him, in a sense, to live our whole life, so that we may love Him. Ridiculous as it is. But we can't love with condition being attached on us. That's why since the beginning of time, we were given free will, free to rebel against Him, free to live our own life. Because He love us. Till now, yeap it still is. It is this beautiful knot we just can untie. I believe it is this relationship that we had, I couldn't bear to see myself without Him in my life. Everything changed since then. I couldnt give up on anything that come across me. I wont lol. Wednesday, February 2, 2011, 6:40 AM
Predestination
Where I was. My origin. Yes, my home. This place tis full of sorrow and just unright aren't our origin. Its just doesn't suit us. Sometime in the future we'll all die. What's after life? Remember the ultimate rule? Nothing can be created nor destroyed. Life only change to another form. Its not what I believe, its really what comes natural into my mind. But think back again, its all because of Him I begun to believe. With no reason at all. |
WhoAmi?
I love to hang out, Yumcha (it means drinking) =) I like to meet people too, bwaahahahaha =) What else ? Hmmmmmmm, looking for an entry to music industry. Im not good, but I just wanna share some of my thoughts on music. My Facebook Wordpress This blog serves as my own diary too. =D |
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