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Monday, October 28, 2013, 11:54 PM
Being Candid
Regret just won't stop haunting me.
Honestly, Im trying to be honest, to stay true
being a friend.
If I ever did something wrong, I would seek reconciliation,
because you were so important to me.
People would often ask me what Im thinking.
I always wanted to say, but still have to mask myself.
"Im thinking of Derek Wai." thats what in my mind.
Aside from being Gay enough to say this, (not actual homo)
The rest of the reasons all go to my heart for friendship.
You were the best. Definitely.
I won't get another one, I will not.
Sunday, October 21, 2012, 4:34 AM
Crossroad
前进,就会有更好的东西, 可是我却依然放不下。 到底现在是前进还是停顿, 我真分不清楚。 是当初的化学作用还是约定? 是自己的执着还是爱意? 啊!!!!!!!!!! Sunday, October 7, 2012, 1:41 AM
SELFISH
breaks my heart,
and that is Me being selfish.
Selfish that I didnt took time to pray hard enough for my country.
Selfish that I didnt took time to pray for my church.
As the people of God is trying so hard to fight for something
and show us how urgent it is to respond to the will of God and
providence of God,
I can only continue to worry about my assignment and studies.
Selfish huh.
That inspiring moment all of you( pastor and people ) shown
will definitely move me.
Yes it will. Thank You.
Monday, September 24, 2012, 3:45 AM
白头偕老
因为身边又多了只肯顾自己的人, 他们视野有真的那么小吗? 好忙哦........教会占据了我很多时间。 有些苦衷我始终不说, 要的只是那个舍己的心。 可是跟但是,这个世界还是有好人的, 只要我说到,他们都肯帮, 应该以后我能够做工赚钱后, 我要好好地答谢他们。 仍挂在我心上的是爸爸, 我好害怕他会离开我, 我发觉原来我自己多么需要一个爸爸。 发现他其实非常的重要 多想可以跟他一起白头到老, 跟他上天堂。 Saturday, September 15, 2012, 5:31 AM
Self-centered
Im gonna try not to write something just to show people, but to impact and always to serve the purpose of sharing gospel. Sigh, how many days and hours have it been my heart churning sadness. Its so hard to contain heartbreak, the only warmth is either my church, or my family. Friends are just too fake for me in this season. undeniably I still yearns for care, for love from people. Attention seeker, you may call. But, obviously Im trying to cut down those exposure I usually make. Haiyo......... Cant things be simple? God, the only rules You ever set is love right? Thursday, August 30, 2012, 5:55 AM
避免不到的怕
开始怕人。怕靠经他们,怕了解他们,更怕被他们了解。 不是自闭,只是害怕。 自从我的好朋友离开我后, 我还以为我可以很正常地交朋友, 不是的,其实我已经开始怕, 不知道怎样形容这种恐惧。 女人男人,我一样难靠近, 很多时候也是我在逼自己, 也是为了上帝我才这样子做。 我真的想离开这种混沌的思想, 尤其是自私。 我希望有人可以安慰我的好朋友, 很明显他还在等我,他还是期待着。 这真的让我很内疚,我好不习惯我自己那么洒脱。 Tuesday, August 28, 2012, 5:00 AM
In My Hands
It wasnt just something, its some what essence of my life.
I put friendship at top most priority now. Wait 2nd.
1st will always be family.
Each time I see my father's leg worsening,
My heart dies.
I couldnt bear the thoughts of him working so hard
for me, his legs were the result of me.
Im 21, im not making any progress.
Gee, i really wanted to approach the music director,
but i really doubt he would give me any position at this point
of my life. Sigh. TO be
Sunday, August 19, 2012, 5:44 PM
理想人生
啧,听到我都要哭。好真实的歌。 哇,我看徐佳莹真的很想挽留但是只是累了。 拒绝其实一次两次是ok 的,可是久了还是会感觉到痛。 而且很多次的话,就是会让你感觉要放弃。 我不是在讲告白哦,而是真实的感情,比友谊深一点? 嗨,很多东西时间会淡化? 我真的不赞成,真的只是一句用来安慰自己的话。 我现在真的很怕女人,不懂是开始有恐惧还是怎样。 总之,我就是会避开有女人的地方....... 除了自己的好友们,其实我很想念这些朋友, 高中跟大学的都有,他们都是我爱的...... 嗨......不懂几时可以好好地坐下来喝茶。 Saturday, August 18, 2012, 11:07 PM
中国人
Theme : 一颗爱主的心 So this is just between you and me, this Pastor Ren Chun that everyone said inspiring, well....... I had hard time understanding his whole preaching, there wasnt a slide, of course the largest boundary here was his accent. Well, 2 hours of listening, most of the time I can only think of the flaw in his speech. Ha, being a skeptic one, I had taken that remaining time to find the answers to his flaws. Well, I didnt want to join the full course of the camp and I mean it. LOL I was told to play keyboard and asked for this only @.@ And so I was prepared to play keyboard and that only ~.~ Gee. OK, I shall try my best to enjoy this. My best. Saturday, August 4, 2012, 7:10 AM
Things I should remember
and to remember what I have. Solitary is just too much recently. Whether being with my family or friends. It only separate me from it temporary. Quite bothersome. We were told to love, the 1st and 2nd most important commandment. That love does not simply bow to rejection. Nor does it rejects, this simply imply that acceptance has its ways. Refusing, rejecting, and ignorance sometimes are way of accepting. It goes back to whom wields it. Heart that holds the true intent. Sunday, July 22, 2012, 8:34 PM
Yawn.....
Been feeling really tired all the time,
even climbing stairs feel like a mountain hiking.
Something that I should be thinking again is that,
is it really worth it? to kept waiting?
I dont mean God, instead, I mean that person which I promised.
啧,有时候是不是真的是执着而不是爱? Sunday, July 15, 2012, 2:26 AM
当初
嗨........我不知道那时候你有期待什么东西。 我真的一点都不懂。 我真的希望现在的你不会觉得寂寞。 其实身边有很多朋友你是可以主动的。 我也不太明白,也许你觉得这样就够了。 =) “我就是要相信爱不会受伤害,为了就是想看到爱不会失败。心碎真 我对很多答案都不是很满足,不是我高要求,而是我觉得要彻底明白,竟然有生命就不要糊涂跟浪费。 Tuesday, July 10, 2012, 12:37 AM
不想
Yes, 3 hours 14 minutes from Johore bus station to TBS. I took a very very long route to go back Subang from TBS. That journey almost made me cry, because I stalled around 20 taxis. None of them were willing to drove to Subang. It was kind of desperate, because I wanted to rush home and start my assignment. That 4 hours. I thought of many things, I couldnt stand still and wait, Im an impatient person, not willing to stand and wait. And this journey led me to rethink whether I should remain where I am now. Because It doesnt seems to me God is guiding. Sometimes, Im just selfish, not willing to lean unto God in every situation there is, Im just not humble and obedient. 我真的很懊恼,我真的很不想继续读书,我真的很不想很不想。 可是不读书,我能做什么。我能做什么? 上帝,可以不要开我玩笑嘛。 当初,对,我离开APIIT时,我真的想清清楚楚, 我非常肯定IT不是我的菜。 上帝,我现在才发现,原来我根本都不想读书。 我不懂,我真的不懂该怎么办,上帝,可以帮我吗? Its a season. Another season for me. Is there a chance outside there? Tuesday, June 26, 2012, 3:27 PM
So.So.
IN CHURCH. Basically, I dont ask these kind of questions knowing that its too general and we aint trying hard to CARE about someone's life. But, sometimes I just felt like Im kinda too strict on these kind of thing. Like my Patience, it isnt same for everyone, some, I can tolerate longer, some just 2 lines, and I will get pretty annoyed and hope he/she just finish it fast. Going back to my spiritual life, I have to be honest again that I really didnt read that much of bible. Its like only 5 verse 1 week. Good enough? Prayer life, I talk to God, I really do, but not that kind of long, specific subjects, sometimes I really do forgot to pray for my parents, which have been going on for 6~7 years? The other day, I was in this song-writing camp, and so this Pastor was too inspiring that I would have give him so much applause that no one gets. He relate writing songs to every single subjects that has to do with honouring God, like purpose of life, actions and so on. So I guess I pretty much fail it all. When he ask:" Kian Seng, whats your pupose of life?" I answered:" I dunno yet." He said that its common, some people dont even acknowledge their own existence. It was a good weekend even to hear what God did to change a teenager which happens to be my roommate for that camp. Thats it. Sunday, June 24, 2012, 5:34 PM
Seasonal
So I'll start now. So yea, playing Diablo 3 has earned me around RM 600 or, 200+USD Its a good game that helps me in getting pocket money, I really needed them lol. Sigh, it turns out my voice aint good afterall, Im abit down. Really, gotta work on my breathing and voicing. And yea my physical appearance if so it can be work on. Im getting confuse all the time this season. Really, I want to be alone. Quiet down and ALONE!!!!! That's it i think, will write more when I get back my memories. Wednesday, May 16, 2012, 3:56 AM
就算今天赢了
真的受益不浅。
我发觉,原来我是那么需要听从。
我感觉自己退步了好多哦。 Monday, May 14, 2012, 5:06 AM
KL Medical Sports Centre
He paid RM1,200 for it, I was beside him when he make the payment.
So, there I was looking at the statement and the cost.
I felt really ashame that responsibility wise,
I should be the one who pay it which I cant (I doesnt work and I HAZ NO INCOME)
So I has no vision of my future at all,
what do I work later in my adulthood?
I haz no idea @.@
God, how I wish you will take me there.
Where I can finally rest.
Where theres no tears.
But Im pretty sure I aint the sheep.
Sigh, what to do!??!?!?!?!?
Cheers, Im meeting my youth pastor in the coming few days.
Excited ! =O Wednesday, May 9, 2012, 5:18 AM
生命影响生命
思想,行为,言语。心灵跟态度。 有进步的与有退步的, 我真的太松懈了,时不时都在想, 现在最重要,顺其自然, 原来这几句话风险是多大啊。 我很记得Paul Washer说过, 从我们一出生那一刻, 我每个人所做的任何一个决定, 态度,言语,思想,身躯, 都是从影响来的,他的理论很简单, 没有个人理论是个人理论。 我非常赞同。 我真的觉得,是真的只是觉得, 我被压了个印,思想与与人相处的态度, 跟他有了相同的特点。不懂是他给我的压力, 还是我自己的心脑有了自己的灵魂。 好难摆脱这种极端,我开始不能再享受我以前喝茶, 那时候的快活。我绝对不是封锁,有问有答。 只是不懂我这样下去会不会算是上帝的不孝子。 另外一个角度是,其实就是另类的学习, 另外一种性格,或者是更深的心灵结构? 我不懂啦,我其实也不是很明白。 算了啦,只要我还有原本的愿望跟一样不变祈求, 那就是我的生命,定义我的理由。 想,也要有个结论。 Saturday, May 5, 2012, 3:44 AM
0 Push Up
My body shape is totally gone. @.@ Seriously must get myself to the Gym somehow, get my daily pushup back into my schedule. Seriously, I dunno how this leads me to show grace, or am I showing already, God, I always have faith in Your plan. Not people Friday, May 4, 2012, 10:57 AM
躺
怎样的该怎么办,我时候我觉得真的很无畏, 我的朋友就告诉我,应该自私点,有些人的事就是轮不到我插手。 其实我也没有要插手,根本就不是..... 这种羡慕来羡慕去的现实事情真的把每个人都弄累了, 我真的真的不想再追任何一个属于自己的梦想或者是愿望, 好不值得,明明知道到最后不懂是怎样。 而我真真喜慕的真的是上帝?这个问题我应该弄清楚, 上帝到底怎样问我们的,毕竟他是看心的。 嗨....... 好累啊!!!!! 我真的好讨厌那些不问我就在我后面解释的人, 就算你是值得尊重的长辈,我也会看你不屑。 |
WhoAmi?
I love to hang out, Yumcha (it means drinking) =) I like to meet people too, bwaahahahaha =) What else ? Hmmmmmmm, looking for an entry to music industry. Im not good, but I just wanna share some of my thoughts on music. My Facebook Wordpress This blog serves as my own diary too. =D |
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